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Aside from voicing some of the most memorable characters in anime (Yuji in "Burn Up W," Burglar #1/Lead Thug in "Gunsmith Cats," and Computer Tech in "Plastic Little"), Jason Lee also earns his keep as a stand-up comedian. We've asked him to let us in on some of his other dark secrets and why he carries around a miniature, pin-ridden effigy of Craig Kilborn. What's the stupidest thing you ever did as a kid? JL: The one that immediately comes to mind... I grew up in kind of the countryside on the outskirts of San Antonio, Texas. Our big thing all day long on weekends and in the summer time would be to jump our bikes over ramps. We'd build ramps and then jump them. So we were in one of these between-ramp periods where we needed a ramp. We found a cinder block and the only wood we could find was a piece of plywood. And my friends are like, "This is too flimsy," and I'm like, "Nah, we'll be going so fast it won't bend." My kid physics at that point were suspect. So I took off down the road and I'm sure I achieved the fastest speed I thought I had ever hit before. I hit this ramp, the board bent and my front tire smashed into the cinder block. And I did about two and a half flips in the air and landed on my face. Of course being a kid, and a dumb country kid at that, I probably had scratches but, whatever. I've done a lot stupider things, but that's the only one I can think of immediately.
Have you ever had an altercation with the cops? JL: I've never been convicted. I'm the guy in the car ... well, I've grown up a bit ... I used to be the guy in the car who would mouth off to the cop. There was one time, and I'm not going to tell you what I was arrested for but I'm sure any good journalist could find out, I was being processed after being arrested and learned that you shouldn't be funny in jail.
I've already been in jail for a long time, and the lady who's processing my form is asking me these simple questions, ticking off various answers. The one I remember was, "What's your religion?" And I asked her what that was for and she said, "Well, in case something happens to you and we need to administer last rights we know whom to call?" And I said, "Santaria is my religion and I'd like a voodoo priest, please." She looked at me, realized I was a smart-ass white kid and my form went right to the bottom of the stack. I didn't get out of there for hours.
Who did you vote for in the election? JL: I voted for Gore. I think he won the election. The process said that Bush won. By the time it actually got resolved I didn't care. I mean I don't know if that's what's wrong with America, I'm a person that cares about politics and I didn't care. As a comedian I'm very happy Bush won.
Give me your best Bush joke. JL: He is his own best joke.
What's your best joke? JL: I guess I'm probably an observational humor comic if I had to define myself. So much of it is in the context. I don't have any 'knock, knock' or guy walks into a bar with a pig under his arm type joke. Most comics don't know jokes. That's like the bane of our existence. Most of the time I don't tell people I'm a comic anymore because they always ask me to tell a joke. And at this point a million comics have done jokes about people asking them that, so I can't even do jokes about that anymore. When people go "Oh, tell me a joke" I go, "I want you to go f*** yourself." I mean the look in their faces would be, "What? That's not...hey, you're not being funny now." So what's my favorite? This one was actually stolen on national television, so that's why I'm going to tell it:
I'm living in LA and the Democratic National Convention came through town where people were protesting everything. Civil rights, environmental issues, the World Bank. I even saw a group that was protesting against "Winnie the Pooh." They said he's not politically correct and that he doesn't reflect today's social mores. I mean, "Winnie the Pooh," what's so offensive about it? You have Winnie the Pooh, you have Piglet and Rabbit, you have Eyore, you have Tiger. Well, I suppose it would be more proper to say Tegro. Actually, Bengal-American. It's a true story, I saw it on my color television ... I'm sorry, my television of color... That's the kind of stuff I do. And so "The Daily Show" ripped me off. That joke came out of Craig Kilborn's mouth and my jaw dropped. Comics complain a lot, especially when something like that happens. But there's a rich history of stealing in comedy. The old guys used to do it all the time.
What's your favorite Shakespeare play? JL: I'm going to try and sound intelligent and come up with something good.
Please, because that's the impression everybody has so far. JL: I like "Hamlet." The one I don't like is "Taming of the Shrew." I hate that one for some reason. No, I don't really hate that one. The one I really hate is "Turn of the Screw." I hate that book. More than any other book I hate "Turn of the Screw." I know it's not a Shakespeare play but it's close to "Taming of the Shrew" phonetically. It's the most boring piece of British crap I've read in my life. But "Hamlet's" got it all. "Richard III's" good, "Romeo and Juliet's" good in it's way, I like it a lot, but "Hamlet's" probably the one. Plus it spawned the Tom Stoppard homage "Rosencranz and Guildenstern Are Dead." That's probably my favorite piece to do with Shakespeare.
Coming from Texas, as you do, do you support the death penalty as a deterrent for crime? JL: No. I did a Bush joke when I was in Beumont Texas, which shouldn't even be part of Texas - it should be annexed by Louisiana as far as I'm concerned. It wasn't even that bad of a Bush joke, but when I delivered it there was this wave of boos coming at me. There's very much a part of me that's a bleeding heart. And there's that dark primal part of me when I think about victims and their loved ones and I have no idea how that side reacts.
I think that that part of my soul can get blood lusty. But regardless, I don't think capital punishment is a deterrent. If I thought it was a deterrent, I would support it. In the old days, when you were killed in front of the whole town square, I think it was a deterrent. You were not only getting killed but humiliated in the process. Now you stay in prison for twenty years before you die. You get media coverage, free meals, sympathy support. Usually by the time someone is about to die, they are a completely different person. I can see that argument against capital punishment.
Top five hottest women on screen? JL: Well, my wife. Elizabeth Shue ... I have this weird thing for girls with a little bit of a problem. The dumb girl on "Becker," forgot her name. The original Buffy is pretty hot, Christy Swansen. And Kristin Dunst, she's gotten pretty hot. And Christina Aguilera wasn't hot until I saw her on the cover of Rolling Stone. You can put Brittany on the list too but only in the schoolgirl outfit.
What is the best TV theme song? JL: It's got to be "Suicide is Painless" from M*A*S*H.
What is your religion? JL: Santaria. I grew up Catholic, but I got over it.
Did you like "Turn of the Screw?" JL: I didn't.
For readers in the LA area, Jason and his wife Amanda Winn Lee will be performing Feb. 4 as part of the Second City Comedy Troupe at the Second City Theater (Area 51) right next door to the Improv in West Hollywood on Melrose (call for times). Jason will also appear with his stand-up routine at the Improv in Brea, California on Jan. 24 at 8:30 p.m.
Improv Comedy Theater, Brea (714) 529-7878;
Second City/ Area 51, Feb. 4, 6 p..m, 8156 Melrose Ave., W. Hollywood
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