Point - E.W.C.

A question that has been beaten to death ever since "Ranma 1/2" became available to the American anime fan community. Opinions spread like a rash over the internet, from message boards to chat rooms, mailing lists and web sites. Even at anime club meetings and conventions debates fly over the same persistent inquiry: whom should Ranma really end up with? Of course, it is a hollow question. Every Ranma fan knows that creator Rumiko Takahashi strategically plans comedic plots to orchestrate a romantic entanglement with Ranma and Akane Tendo. Nevertheless, fans that see greater potential in pairing Ranma with one of the other more delightful female characters cannot help playing speculative matchmaker for the reluctant ladies man.

But the real reason why so many "Ranma ½" fans support one of his many suitors may have something to do with their enmity for his betrothed, Akane. There are myriad anti-Akane websites on the internet propounding that she is a mean-spirited, abusive man-hating shrew. Perhaps fans unconsciously want to deliver the shy Romeo from the tantrums of a moody female.

A keener observation of Akane Tendo reveals that she is not the queen bitch her critics purport. On the contrary, Akane has many likable traits, but she is still an unsuitable match for Ranma. Both are adolescents on the brink of adulthood, but neither one of them seems excited about the transition. Akane, as well as Ranma, is in need of a more sexually mature mate - in need of one who will soothe the movement into an adult relationship with the opposite sex.

But before we shack her up with another amour, it is important to emphasize why she and Ranma do not make a good couple. Akane is hypersensitive and high strung. Why she is so no one can say. There appears to be no outside indication to her short temper, no logical reason for her abrupt anger. Without evidence of rational motivation for her outbursts, curses, and, sometimes, violent behavior, Akane is too often miscast as a willful prima donna. She is a contemporary counterpart to the most famous shrew of all, Kate of the Hall (from Shakespeare's "Taming of the Shrew"), a woman whose only explanation for her emotional unbalance lies within the mysterious nature of her sex.

The root of Akane's frustration is not as mysterious as Elizabethan social philosophers might propose. Just as Catherine (Kate) secretly laments over insecurities with her femininity, Akane also struggles with a tomboy's coming of age and the development of her "social female" identity. Like most young women, Akane wants the best of both worlds: the freedom to tromp around in a "man's" world with impunity; to get rough and rowdy with the boys without sacrificing her womanhood.

But playful taunts and jeers, mostly from Ranma, constantly remind her of her lack of "girlishness." While sporting a boyish haircut, Akane endures Ranma's teasing of her small chest size and poor cooking skills and becomes enraged most often when she fails to perform the most menial of domestic tasks. Worst yet, Ranma accuses Akane of being "butch" and "macho" (English dub version) whenever she trespasses on his masculine world of violence and aggression. Akane's answer to his ridicule is even more violence, reinforcing his perception, and thus frustrating her further.

Had other young men shared Ranma's opinion of Akane, it would explain her contempt for males. Surprisingly, men find her attractive. So attractive, that every morning all the boys at Furikan High aggressively pursue her at the gates of the school only to get their lovelorn asses karate-chopped by the pugnacious co-ed.

Several other factors, therefore, may be responsible for Akane's hatred of boys. Has she been the victim of overt gender discrimination, or does she feel that boys are too immature for her? Perhaps accepting the love of young men forces Akane to recognize their potentially chauvinist expectations of her role in a romantic relationship. She is a staunch feminist, always the leader of an angry mob of young women, inciting their blood lust for the untamed male libido, which permits its lecherous voyeurism to violate the sanctity of a woman's dressing room.

There is no evidence, however, that indicates latent lesbian tendencies. Akane's aversion to boys does not intrinsically imply a sexual preference for women. It simply means that she is not willing to accept the advancements of men her age. Akane does not hate all men, just childish men. Even Soun Tendo receives flashes of his youngest daughter's disdain whenever he acts foolishly.

The one exception to Akane's general estimation of males is Dr. Tofu, a gentle, calm man, skillful at his profession and committed to his work. Her crush on Dr. Tofu, then, refutes the possibility that her animosity for Ranma originates from the fear of really liking him thus betraying some self-internalized code of fascist feminism. Her heart genuinely goes to men who are mature and self-realized.

In a romantic comedy that relies heavily on the sexual tension between the two lead characters, Ranma and Akane's love/hate relationship delivers more of an ambiance of schoolyard frolic than a sensation of stifled passion. Ranma is just as phobic of girls as Akane is of boys. There is no incentive for the couple's mutual dislike for one another other than a childlike repugnance for the opposite sex. If sexual tension causes a couple to fight in a vein attempt to subvert the fact that they really like each other, Ranma and Akane's lack of sexual interest forces audiences to formulate a weaker hypothesis: they like each other because they fight.

The audience supports their union, however mismatched, simply because it recognizes confrontation between men and women as a manifestation of hidden desire. Despite popular opinion, Ranma does not need a woman in his life; he has one already - himself. Until he learns to reconcile with his literal feminine side he will always have issues with women in general. And Akane would not benefit from the competition with the woman inside her own betrothed during the awkward stage of her sexual maturation.

So who would be the better guy for Akane? Ryoga, without a doubt. Yes, Ryoga is a klutz, a clod, and a fool, but he's a sweet fool and he is way more aware of his sexual feelings than is his rival. Although far from helpless, Ryoga is the type of dumb oaf who needs the guidance of a strong woman. He respects Akane, an aggressive martial artist who likes to wear prim, knee-length dresses, and does not infringe upon her need of social male/female duality. Ryoga does not pressure her to fit into a narrow peg of femininity nor does he criticize her for breaking out of a public construct of gender identity. He is also the first young man she has not tried to kill. A patient and loyal companion who is not completely self-absorbed by his own greatness would help Akane ease out of her troubling relationships with men. If she had any sense she would partner up with Ryoga. … but she doesn't, and that is why she's destined for Ranma. (E.W.C.)

Counterpoint - Matt

Given E.'s admission in a previous column that her boyfriend is a "Pokemon" fanatic, I'm willing to concede her some expertise in the area of immature boyfriends. So I will leave the drab dissection of Akane's romantic pathology to my honored colleague, and devote myself to helping Miss Tendo overcome a problem that I myself am all too familiar with: a seemingly endless array of devoted suitors. That's right, ladies. Take a number and get in line. The Matt-man is more sought after than the Cup of Christ.

Now pay attention, Akane. Don't listen to your father or your friends. And above all, don't listen to your heart. Listen to me! Ranma, Ryoga, or Kuno? Let's start with Ranma. After all, he is your fiancé. And he's a girl. When he gets wet. (To quote Kuno, "Lord what crap these plot devices be"). Sure, there are upsides to this unique arrangement. You could share clothes, and that's important to girls. And you could make truly excellent home-pornos. But let's look at the downsides. Let's say you and Ranma are taking a shower and suddenly the water gets cold and Ranma turns into a naked girl covered with soapsuds…yeah…you could definitely make some good home-pornos. But that's only good for me, provided someone smuggles the tapes out and puts them on the internet. And I'm interested in what's good for you, Akane. What if you get married and put on a few pounds? Believe me. I've seen it happen. Suddenly, you're a size 12 and your husband is a size 4. Plus he has always had better skin. He starts to stay home on Friday night to fondle his own boobs. Pretty soon, Ranma has left you to date someone younger and more beautiful - like himself. Marry this guy and you're headed for a ten-year anniversary celebrated live on Springer.

Ryoga? He's cute, sure. Nice tight biceps (not that I notice those things). And the umbrella? "Pirates of Penzance" meets "Terminator." Very cool. Don't sweat the curse. Sooner or later all men turn into pigs. At least he's a cute Vietnamese pot-bellied type pig and not some eight hundred-pound blue ribbon winner. But the utter lack of directional sense - this is not flattering on a man. I myself have gotten lost, once, in a corn maze. When I was drunk. And seven-years-old. But a REAL man could be lost in the labyrinth of King Minos with the Minotaur hot on his back, still he would NEVER, EVER ask for directions. Where would we be if Columbus had asked for directions to India, huh? Worse still, his penchant for getting lost makes Ryoga habitually tardy. By the time he finds the church it'll be time for your funeral, not your wedding. Just say no.

Which brings us to Kuno. Kuno has a high opinion of himself. I've got no problems with that. The last thing you want, Akane, is some guy who's going to go all sensitive and needy on you. To back up his arrogant persona, Kuno will climb his way to the top of the corporate ladder and pull down a nice, obese, salary. Aside from devastating karate chops, diamonds are a girl's best friend. And I like the way he gave himself a nickname - The Blue Thunder. Think what that sort of shameless self-promotion has done for Shaquille O'Neal. And Donald Trump. But before you offer up your precious flower of affection, make him lose the verse. No one wants to hear all that Shakespeare. You'll need footnotes to understand his love letters. You can do better.

That's right, Miss Tendo. Think outside the box and behind the glasses. Mousse! Don't be deceived by appearances. Nerdy Asian guys are one hundred percent stud. Come on, guys, back me up. And if he gets on your nerves, throw some water and a little orange sauce on him. Presto! Roast duck. Now I know Moose pines for Shampoo, but that girl is already spoken for. Sultry, stupid, and free Chinese food?! She's mine. (Matt Yamashita)