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Confessions of the World's Greatest Otaku

Otakon 2002: The Otaku Strike Back - Part II
by Ron Ferrara
Otakon 2002

After registering and picking out my tag (I picked Char's Counterattack, many of the other guys went for the Initial D one), we set out on exploring and seeing what was going on and when. I remembered I had arranged to meet someone in a specific location at a specific time. OK, let me explain. Over a year ago, I had met someone online. Her name is Trish. She found me from seeing her brother IM'ing me online because we used to talk about anime or video games. So she started talking to me as well. We eventually became friends (I'm leaving out a lot of details, believe me). I wanted to meet her at Otakon 2001, as she lives right in Baltimore, but she was unable to attend that year. Anyway, I was going to meet her this year... with her boyfriend. Anyway, that was on my list to do. Brian, Tyson and Randy went their separate ways and I found myself with Mike and Jeff. At around the pre-designated time I was supposed to meet Trish, we found some younger girls that insisted on taking pictures with us and taping a sign that said, "Down with FUNimation!" on Mike's back. I think Jeff knew them from a previous con.

After waiting over fifteen minutes for Trish to arrive (she didn't come), we left to go to the dealer's room and I simply had to say, "It's alright. I'm sure she's busy with her boyfriend, and we have our own lives so if we didn't meet that's OK. I shouldn't care that much about it." Jeff told me to stop rambling. I know what you're all thinking, and don't go saying Ron the chou-otaku needs a real girlfriend and a real life. I wasn't meeting Trish to steal her away and make her my girl. I just really wanted to know to whom I had been talking to for the past 15 months online. In my opinion (Ron wisdom #15), women are a pain in the ass and a waste of time. You gotta take them out and call them up and talk to them and buy them things... and I have better things to do with my money and my time. It's like having a dog, and at least a dog doesn't answer you back. (God, I sound cynical and maybe just a little nihilistic. Did I mention pathetic? Yeah that too. However, Ron wisdom #4: Ron is happy and stupid. You'd be surprised how far that goes and how much it applies to.)

While in the dealer's room, I ran around like a nutcase looking for one specific item: Bandai's Soul of Chogokin Getter Robo in training (i.e. shiny metallic) colors. I didn't find any at first so I found Jeff and he was looking at a life-size Ruri standup. Jeff asked if it was for sale and for how much. I was already pulling out my money. "50 bucks," the dealer responded. Jeff must have been ready with it, because he handed the man he cash in less than two seconds and folded up the Ruri. "Dah!" I yelled at him, pointing, "I was going to buy that!" He responded, "Hey, everything is for sale here. I have no idea where I'm going to put this, but it's mine now. You weren't quick enough." I should practice the fast money-draw technique more. Pull out the fundage Quick-draw McGraw-style. While in the dealer's room, I saw something just amazing, especially for a Gundam otaku like myself. A 5 foot(!) Zaku II! The thing cost over $1,500 and was fully-articulable. I tried to pick it up and run off with it.

SOC Getter Robo

After purchasing a few items at the dealer's room (including a SOC Getter Robo!) and signing up for the Bandai model building contest at a later time, we checked the schedule and saw the music videos had started. We rushed across the convention center to the proper video room to watch the music videos. I placed all my stuff on the empty seats next to me. Not even through the first music video, I hear a, "Ron?" behind me. I look over my shoulder and see Trish sitting behind me. I did a double-take. I immediately jumped over my stuff and the isles of chairs to get to the rear of the video room. She ran up and gave me a hug. I hugged her back with both arms. (This is all as my memory records it, so forgive me if I'm either wrong or misquoting.) She said, "There you are! I'm so glad to meet you!" Jeff must have been right behind me, because there he was lifting her up and giving her a hug too. She was shorter than I thought she would be. "Do you like my hair?" she asked, holding it up. I looked and felt it, "Yes, you look good with red hair." Her hair was soft, "Ooh, you have such nice hair too." (I feel like I'm writing a fanfiction.) "I'm sorry I didn't meet you earlier," she said apologetically, "Steve [her boyfriend] took me out for food because we were hungry." I replied that it was OK, and that my friends and I were probably going to get something to eat after the music videos. She brought me over to her boyfriend. "This is Steve." He looked over his shoulder and looked me once over before giving a quick, "hi" response. He turned back around in his chair. I didn't even have a chance to say hello or to shake his hand.

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